Ift sucks being white because

you cant hang a chair in your yard without being a racist.


It sucks being white because…

You are profiled for theft.


It sucks being white because…

What the fuckin’ fuck.

Holy shit, this is a serious blog? For fuck’s sake get your head out of your ass and educate yourself. It’s fuckin’ awesome to be white. Do you know why? Because of something called white privilege. You’ve probably never heard that term before. That hyperlink goes to a page that will list off privileges that you probably didn’t even realize you had. But you’ve lived with them your entire life. You don’t have to think about things like that. Ever. That’s why you never have before. Because you’re so fucking privileged. What’s that? You get looked at funny when you drink a forty? Wow, you’ve got it rough. Maybe you’d like to be black. Then you won’t have to worry about anything like that. You’ll just have to worry about things like being stopped by the police and frisked just for walking down the street. What’s that? Eminem’s the only white person that can say the n word? Why can’t you use the n word? You don’t use the n word 1) because you know that it’s offensive and derogatory, and 2) because you’re afraid of the reaction of black people. Do you know why some white people will say the n word around their white friends, but not in front of black people? Because they aren’t scared of how the white person will react, because they haven’t been taught, silently and otherwise, to fear white people like they have black people. They aren’t scared of seeming racist around their white friends, because it’s very likely that their white friends are just as ignorant about all this shit as you are. What’s that? You want a white history month? FUCK YOU. Every month is white history month you twat. Why would black history month exist if it was studied and celebrated adequately? Think about that shit. What’s that? You say you can’t dress like a ghost without looking like a racist? ARE YOU REALLY BITCHING BECAUSE YOU FEEL YOU AREN’T ABLE TO DRESS UP AS A GHOST ONE DAY OUT OF THE YEAR BECAUSE YOUR PUSSY ASS FEARS BEING LOOKED AT AS RACIST? Well NEWSFLASH BITCH, you ARE racist. No one gives a flying fuck about YOU or your PUSSY FEELINGS. You sound like a pussy ass bitch, and your ignorance is overwhelming. Get your candy ass out of here with that reverse racism bullshit. Seriously.

-Sincerely sostarryeyedd

Since this was a submit and not a question

and a very horribly punctuated suggestion,

I will make my response brief

to address your very angry beef

with me and my blog about the race issue

so sit the fuck down and grab a few tissue

I do this for lulz and do it for hehe’s

I’m not the lorax, I don’t speak for the trees

I speak for me and me on my own

Its only me here, forever alone.

If you think I’m not funny, you dislike my wit

my satire dry? cant handle it?

Then please be my guest and dont come back

I wont visit your page about dating guys who are black

or how much you love hemp and how much you hate school

you must see yourself so “original”

And the sad thing is we like similar things

I’m a fan of jack skellington “the pumpkin king”

I’m a fan of rugrats, I’m a 90’s kid

and NO ONE EVER will have it as good as we did.

So please dear erin, with your hyperlink list

your CAPS LOCK key, your shaking fist

send me more mail, fill my inbox with stuff

and try to sound the exact same amount of tough,

I look forward to hearing from you quite soon,

and in the meantime I’ll be posting till june

and probably longer, so people will laugh

or call me a racist, no problems with that

call me what you want and curse me to hell

I shall keep posting 

and I wish you well…


Q
Why do you answer all of your asks with shitty poetry?
A

Because young rebel, as you can see

There are many great things about poetry.

It’s funny for those easily amused

And a livelihood for the great Dr. Seuss.

For me it’s an outlet to express my wit,

And to annoy the people who don’t get it,

So there will be many more poems to come

And many more rhymes not yet to be done.

And many more verses and lines to write.

And many more posts on why it sucks to be white.


It sucks being white because…

you can’t say the same things as Dave Chappelle, without being a racist. 


It sucks being white because…

The cute security guards and policemen never notice me…


It sucks being white because…

I have to rely on my personality to get a date, because no one has a white person fetish.


It sucks being white because…

You can’t dress up as a ghost without looking like a racist.


It sucks being white because…

you’re the only one who gets asked for money at the gas station.


Q
is this a joke, please tell me this is a joke and or excellent troll.
A

Is it a joke? you tell me.

Who decides what is or isn’t funny?

The government? or even you maybe?

or perhaps even the humor police?

as much as i love it does tumblr decide?

what we laugh about aloud and inside.

Personally i think you should laugh about everything

whether a “hot button” issue or simply nothing.

Nothing should be exempt from humor

not penises or memes or a cancerous tumor.

They say laughter is the very best medicine

it strengthens your macro-phages and your skeleton

it makes you happier unless its that laugh…

that you do to not weep when viewing a friends epitaph.

So laugh a little more and giggle a whole lot

and as for humor, what is funny? I decide not.

How about you decide what you think is a joke

and what makes you cry and what makes you choke.

Sailor moon? Archer? or even 90s Nick?

Its your call what makes you well and what makes you sick.


Q
You can comment about the quality of Obama's presidency, just don't call him the n word when you do it otherwise you are a racist and don't relate anything back to his race and don't tell him that he's going to turn the whitehouse into a cookout or something... OH WAIT PEOPLE ALREADY DID THAT AND IT WAS RACIST.
A

I have never called obama “the n word”

because he isn’t one and that’d be absurd.

But to comment on his current position

and to say it from the viewpoint of opposition

it to invite the issue of the ever present race card

whether or not you pushed the issue very hard.

I think that he could have definitely done better

and occasionally wore a chain and a turtleneck sweater

and done things differently and i’m sure he agrees

that he would have himself changed a few things

but i never said anything about his color or race

so why is that issue constantly in my face?

and as for grilling or a bbq cookout

i have no idea what you’re talking about.


Q
Why it doesn't suck to be white: You will never be shot for walking in a neighborhood holding skittles.
A

Trayvon Martin is a tragic tale

of a man that should be sent to jail.

He shot a person holding only some candy 

and to some people I’m sure that’s fine and dandy.

But shooting someone for suspicion

of making the robbery or murder decision

is completely fine in self defense

but in this case it just isn’t. 

But to America the issue is of ethnicity and color

because they value the race issue over all the others.

The real issue is not the clothes he was wearing

his past convictions, or the neighbor for “caring”

what he was eating or doing when shot

or even the man who phoned police a lot

But the real issue is that a young man was murdered

Let justice be served and never averted.


Q
Yo, this is racist. (P.S. I'm white, which I mention because maybe you'll actually listen to fellow white people.)
A

It doesn’t matter what race that you are

the fact that you mentioned it means that you’re far

from being racist yourself, so good day to you.

I hope that your ass, finds a good swift shoe.


It sucks being white because…

you will always feel racist speaking to your waiter at a mexican restaurant in spanish.


It sucks being white because…

you’ll always get strange looks drinking malt liquor.